A little light of
by Jade Plume
Summary: Set during Serenity the pilot What if Inara heard Mal telling Simon Kaylee was dead ?


**Title :** A little light of...  
**Author : **Jade  
**Pairing :** Inara / Kaylee  
**Rating :** none  
**Word count :** 559  
**Disclaimer :** None of this wonderful characters belongs to me but to the great and amazing Joss Whedon  
**Spoilers :** Serenity (1x00, not the BDM)  
**Summary : **Set on Serenity, part 2. What if Inara heard Mal tell Simon Kaylee was dead... and didn't get it was just the worst joke ever ?  
**Comment : **This is my first Firefly fanfiction. I tried to avoir mistakes, but the trouble is I'm not a native english speaker and obviously I'm still learing... I couldn't find a english beta so I did the best I could by myself... So comments would be really appreciated, and you can groan as you want about my grammar " (I'm afraid that sounds a little too "french" actually...) Anyway, I hope it won't be unreadable :

** A little light of...**

Inara handed the doctor her package.

"Is there anything else I can do ?"

"I don't think so"

Deep down, those four little words broke her heart.  
But she didn't let any pain show through her eyes.

"But I appreciate it", ended Simon.

"Kaylee's very dear. To all of us."

In different ways, maybe. But to all of them, definitively._  
_  
"I'm sorry.", Simon stammered. "For my part in what happened. I've never... I don't know how to - "

It would have been so easier to blame the young man.  
Inara never chose the easy way if it wasn't the one sounding...right, to her soul.

"You're lost in the woods. We all are"

Herself was, more than ever with a little light of joy twinkling between life and death.  
Oh, Kaylee...  
But as usual, her voice remained calm as she pursued :

"Even the captain. The only difference is, he likes it that way".

"No the difference is, the woods are the only place I can see a clear path."

Mal and his damn suprise entrances...

_...  
"Thought you were leaving, anyhow."_

His voice still resounded in her head, a little instant after he left with Simon.  
She stood up as she heard Mal from the outside, speakin' about her.

"... a "legitimate buisnesswoman" like her, their lives can be snatched away because of that fed"

Gorram it... She couldn't let him use her to blame the kid. And she couldn't stand the way he spat on her... Not anymore. She put her hand on the door and was about to open it when Mal's voice turned into terribly, serious whisper...

"Kaylee's dead"

Her heart stopped from beating. Her legs gave up on her, and Inara slipped, very slowly, to the ground.

Kaylee's dead...  
...Kaylee's dead.

Her brain tried to reject the concept, but her soul has already assimilated it, and in the end, it's all her body who reacted, with a violence she didn't know from her.  
She threw up on the floor. Then coughed a couple of times. A strong and bitter taste invaded her mouth, invaded each little cellule of her being.  
Finally, tears escaped from her eyes.  
Kaylee was dead. Her little light of joy. Her little light of love. Definitively turned off.

She remained a few minutes sit on the floor, crying without a noise. In the darkness.  
Now her world will always be nothing but darkness.

Still with slowness, Inara got back on her feet. Her kness trembled, but she didn't crying anymore. She made few little steps until her bed, and her hand excavated under the pillow.

Yes, it was still there...  
She dug out the little box, and opened it. Inside, the syringe appeared to call her. Her fingers delicately closed around the object.  
It's like she had the weight of the world in her hands.  
The black moving liquid seemed swallow the whole light of the room.  
Her little light of...

The pressure of her fingers got stronger and finally broke the syringe, as Mal's little whisper has broken her heart. The pieces of glass notched her skin.  
She just clenched it a little more.

A last tear ran on her cheek.

Blood slipped from her hurt hand, stained her bed. But it was red on red. Nobody was going to notice.  
Notice how her world was now deprived of light. Deprived of...


End file.
